pensive and apprehensive

It has been a really rough weekend. Really really rough, but not the "woe is me the (insert team here) lost" kind of rough. Like uncertain future rough.

A bomb was dropped on me at 445 Friday afternoon.

My last project in New Jersey was the biggest project in my company's history. The quantity billing and such fell mostly upon me as I was in constant contact with the surveying outfit, and between my estimates, and their hard numbers, I was able to come up with a fairly close final total.

I used the numbers they gave me, and we billed as such and everything was all well and good. Until we asked them for a final quantity.

They came back 23000+/- cy less than my numbers. Apparently I double counted in several areas. I asked them, how is this possible? They said we gave you a total for phase 1 and phase 2 together, not separately. But you gave them separately before, why did you change and not note it? We noted it once...

Long story short, this is a $430,000 problem. Because of my numbers, we have overbilled by $430,000.

I might lose my job over this.

I will probably lose my job, or else my existance at this job will become so miserable that I will wish I had lost my job.

My field is so specialised, and this is all I have done since college. I'm spoiled for any other engineering adventure unless I go back and start from an entry level position.

My position here is an entry level one, so even if I go to another of the few companies who do what we do, I'll be starting from scratch.

I don't mind that, as at least I'll have something, but am I too experienced? Would they expect too much from me?

I've been as nervous as skinned monkey in a briar patch all weekend waiting for the axe to fall. I just wish I knew something.

Update- I may have gotten my immediate boss fired too. We're all kinda sitting around awaiting our fates. He just had a new baby. This wasn't his fault, and I just told him as much. I told him to do all the finger pointing at me and save his own ship if he can.

However, "There's always something to be glad about" to quote Haley Mills in Pollyanna. To keep my mind off this in short bursts, I pieced 2 more blocks for my quilt over the weekend, and got in a good days of studying.