Stabby cake stabby cake, baker's man

So, I have this tendancy to create slightly morbid baked goods.

These were baked for a Christmas get together at my Aunt's house.
These cookies depict a dark place in the mind of every gingerbread man.

It follows that when I see something like this at my local Walmart, that I am going to do something with them.

I made stabby cakes

Red velvet cupcakes(from a box mix-I did the the hard way once, and there is still red splatter all over my kitchen) with cream cheese frosting(from a can-I got lazy)

I made my own blood though! It's about 1/4-1/3 c Herhsey's syrup and most of a little pointy hat gnome bottle of red food coloring.  

It grosses out husbeasties when its dripping from the corners of your mouth.

Also, it is the most realistic fake blood I've ever seen. Texture, color, opacity, perfect.

Pumpkin butter, and things to do with it

My husbeast loves pumpkin pie. I mean, who doesn't. It's a fantastic vesituble for loads of whipped cream.

But he loves the pie itself.

This unnerving love of pumpkin pie transcends the crust, however. He loves all things pumpkin pie-y. Like the Pumkin Spie Latte from Starbucks.

He rarely drinks coffee, but when he does, it's pumpkin flavored.

I was thinking about apple butter a few weeks ago and BANG! it hit me. He would he love pumpkin butter.

To the internet!

I found a recipe here for crock pot pumpkin butter. The crock pot is my go-to cauldron, considering that I have neither the time not setting for a giant black cauldron, suspended from a wooden teepee over an open flame.
 
This is pretty much the recipe and what happened along the way This recipe makes 4 pints+ a little kfc bowl

Pumpkin Butter
2 6-8" Pie Pumpkins
3.5 c brown sugar
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp pumpkin pie spice
Juice of 1 small lemon

De-goop pumpkin then cut into easily manageable chunks and roast at 350 degrees until soft(alternately steam or boil)
After cooled remove skin from flesh (I used one of those weird little pumpkin scooping spoon things from a jack o lantern kit)
Puree pumpkin flesh (I had to add a little water to the blender to get mine to do anything useful-may have better luck with a food processer or potato ricer)
Add pumpkin puree, brown sugar, lemon juice and spices to crock pot

Cook on low for 2-3 hours stirring occasonally
Place a spoon or other device under edge of lid to allow steam to escape and cook for another 2-3 hours until proper consistency is reached.
Butter will thicken slightly after cooling.

During cooking, adjust spices to your taste.

Store in airtight container in refrigerator for 2 weeks, freeze for several months. Due to low acidity, canning of pumpkin butter is not recommended, unless you like botulism butter.

*Note-for my pumpkin butter, I originally mashed the pumpkin then cooked everything for about 3 hours, refrigerated overnight, blended the next day then cooked another 2-3 hours, then refrigerated overnight again and cooked another hour or so the final day before transferring to containers.

The instructable has directions for canning the pumpkin butter. The entire internet says not to can pumpkin butter. I don't want to kill people with breakfast spreads, so even though I did follow the canning directions,even processing for 50 minutes, as opposed to the recommended 20, I am still storing mine in the fridge. I brought the KFC bowl of butter to work and tested it with my pH testing apparatus here. The pH is close to a 5. I'm not risking it. 4.6 is inhospitible to botulism.

So now I have 4 pints of pumpkin butter for my husbeast to eat. Now what to do with them...hmmmmm


Excuse the photo-I grabbed these out of his lunch box this morning before he left for work :0)

Pumpkin-Pecan-White Chocolate Chip Cookies
2 1/4 C Flour
1 tsp salt
1 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp pumpkin pie spice
3/4 c sugar
1/2 c brown sugar
1/2 c pumpkin butter
3/4 c butter
1/2 tsp vanilla
2 eggs
1 to 1 1/2 c white chocolate chips
1/2 c chopped pecans

Sift together flour, salt, baking soda, and pie spice in small bowl
Beat together sugars, butters, and vanilla in larger bowl
Beat in eggs one at a time
Beat in dry ingredients in thirds (else you end up with flour EVERYWHERE)
Mix in chips and pecans

Refrigerate for 20-30 minutes(optional, but the second batch I made was easier to work with using refrigerated dough)
Drop by heaping spoonfuls onto ungreased cookie sheet with 2-3" between. These cookies SPREAD so make sure you have good spacing.
 Bake 9-11 minutes until golden brown.
Cool on cookie sheet 2-5 minutes before transferrng to a wire rack.
Eat with Pumkpin Spice Latte, obviously not all at the same time(maybe not so obviously-my husbeastie was thiking about it, but a Starbucks run would have required real pants)

Recipe for bird pot pie casserole

This is a great casserole-type dish, that isn't too heavy for spring, nor too light for winter. The great thing about this casserole is that it is easy, and everything is in "-ish"

Bird can be chicken, or turkey, I would assume. Not sure how much turkey you would need though...

Ingredients
2 boneless skinless chicken breasts(or equivalent amount of turkey)
2 packets bird gravy mix
1/2 box(ish) bird broth-(approx 24 oz broth)
1 lb mixed vegetables
1 Baking sized potato or equivalent in small potatoes
2 packages Bisquick Complete Buttermilk Biscuit Mix, or the equivalent of your own biscuit mix, or a couple of those peel-whack-pop-bake biscuits in a tube, but if you go this route, get the big fluffy ones, not the little ones

Preheat oven to 350ish

Peel and dice potatoes, cover with water and cook until just fork tender. Don't overcook! If anything, undercook slightly! There will be some additional cooking going on in the oven

Cook bird in manner of your choosing(great way to use up holiday leftovers if using turkey). For chicken, I throw on the trusty George Foreman with some salt and pepper, then chop once cooked. You can also chop, then sautee, it's up to you

While that is working, prepare biscuit mix according to package directions(you can substitute bird broth for the water for additional flavor)

Spread vegetables in bottom of 13 x 9 baking dish.

Drain potatoes and add to vegetables.
Chop chicken and add to vegetables

Prepare gravy using double the liquid called for. Half of the liquid will be water, half bird broth. This thickens up your in-casserole juices somewhat.

Add to vegetable mixture. Add remaining bird broth. If you feel your stuff is getting too thin, you can thicken with a bit of cornstarch. You know, you could probably omit the gravy altogether and just thicken all your bird broth with cornstarch. I'm going to try that next time...

Season with pepper, I don't think salt is necessary here, due to the broth and the gravy being salty, your mileage may vary

plop the biscuits by spoonsful on top of bird-goop-vegetable mixture, covering as much of the top as you can.

Spray a piece of aluminum foil with non-stick spray and cover the mess we just made

place in oven for 30-40 minutes or so. After 30-40 minutes , remove aluminum foil and bake for another 10 minutes, or until biscuits are golden and fluffy.

*The foil is necessary, or else your biscuits will be done on top, and raw underneath, and your gravy, veggies, etc won't have time to mingle. That is pretty much the only part of this dish that is set in stone, cover with foil.*

Like most stew-type food, this only gets better the longer it hangs out in the fridge...it also firms up a good bit, so there is less juice

Now, convince your significant other that, since you cooked, they have dishes...